St. Paul’s On-the-Hill Episcopal Church

The Rev. Stephen C. Holton, Rector

Palm Sunday; April 5, 2009

The Passion

Mark 14:1-15:47

HOPELESS LOVE >HOPEFULL LOVE

The disciples had all betrayed Him, neglected Him or abandoned Him, each of them in their own little way. He knew this. He knew they would – and had told them as much the night before he died. “Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me, one who is eating with me.” And to Peter, “Truly I tell you, this day, this very night, before the cock crows twice, you will betray me three times.” And to all of them; “you will all become deserters; for it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’ But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee.”

And after he died, and they were a community again, and after the Spirit had pulled them together as a church, and even after new people had joined their ranks and come to God through their ministry – they must have remembered this. They must have told their stories of betrayal and neglect and denial and abandonment – because someone wrote this down.

Someone wrote all this down.

Someone wrote down every detail of their betrayals. Someone wrote down every detail of their denials. Someone wrote down every detail of their abandonment and neglect.

It wouldn’t be hard to remember. ‘I remember when all He wanted was for us to stay awake with Him one hour as he faced His future and that awful feeling He must have had when He knew He was going to die,’ Andrew might have said to James – ‘and we could not. We could not stay awake. When our friend needed us the most, when all He wanted was for us to stay awake so He could cry on our shoulders, we could not do it. We had to take naps. We were not there for Him. What worms we were.

‘That’s all right for you to say,’ Peter might have said. ‘I always acted like I was His best friend. I always said I’d never leave Him. When push came to shove, and I was in the Temple forecourt and He was being tried by Pilate, I couldn’t even bring myself to say His name! While He was busy dying for us, I wouldn’t even say I knew the man.

Each disciple must have walked around for days in private pain about how they hadn’t measured up, about how they hadn’t lived up to their commitments – as if their commitments were written only on paper, and not on their hearts. They must have worried that the last few years of love and teaching had meant nothing; and they were the worthless human beings everyone had ever thought they were.

It wasn’t any better for anyone else. The woman had loved – but from a great, and safe, distance. Pilate had given into mob rule and his desire for a better job in the empire, promotion, which wouldn’t happen if he did what maybe he thought was right.

The mob itself, had given in to the mob itself. ‘Crucify him.’ Yeah why not, it will alleviate the boredom for one day, make us feel better, give us someone to blame all our problems on.

What principle have you betrayed, or what person? What are your sins, known and unknown, things done and left undone?

How often have you gone over them in loving detail, each painful moment as painful now as when you first did not measure up to your own standards, as when you first gave in to fear, peer pressure, your own human frailty?

So the disciples sat around and talked about this in later years. They must have, for someone wrote it down. He must have written it down, for it is here before us. We just read it. We just read what these other people, those other disciples – before we became disciples – did.

They were together. And they must have been forgiven, for they were able to move around, and live, and love, in spite of this overwhelming guilt and sin.

So maybe Jesus was right when He said that after they were scattered He would be resurrected and go before them to Galilee and see them again and love them again and live with them again, and send them to others still; eventually to us, down through all the generations.

They remained a community – a community of forgiven sinners – because Jesus remained true to His calling. They did not remain true, but Jesus did.

That is the whole point of the message. We did not remain true to our calling and commitment and principles – but Jesus did, Jesus did, Jesus did.

Jesus loved the angry mob and the feckless Roman bureaucrat and the self-interested religious leaders. Jesus rose. Jesus came again. Jesus said again – here I am, follow me.

Jesus is true. We are not. That is the whole point of it; and Jesus’ truth overwhelms our falsehood, Jesus’ love overwhelms our sin. It cleanses our guilt, takes away our pain and sends us out again. Jesus is always our partner in working for the peace of the world and the peace of our communities, even if we’re not ready for that partnership, even if we betray it.

It’s okay. He’ll wait.

He’ll wait; and come again and again until we’re ready to take Him in as our friend and partner and leader.

Then one day we too will sit around and say – ‘remember when I betrayed Him in this way and that way and that way? Remember when I denied my principles, didn’t live up to my commitments, abandoned my friendships?’

Then each place of pain will become a place of beauty and blessing, because in pointing to it we will also be able to point to where He healed us here and there and there. And every place of our pain will also be a place of His gentle touch.

Remember? Remember? Remember? Yes, absolutely remember – when pain becomes rejoicing. Absolutely Christianity spreads when stories of pain become stories of forgiveness, stories of sin become stories of joy and healing and new ways of life.

The story of Christianity becomes the story of the messed up community of love. Come join us – whatever you’ve done, someone has done worse and been forgiven more. Whatever pain you’re in, someone else has felt a similar pain, and found a similar healing to the one which will come your way.

Why? Because we’re frail humans and the Lord, unfortunately, doesn’t expect anything different. “You will all become deserters.” But He’s divine, even though we’re human; and He stayed, He loved, He didn’t desert. He stays, He loves, He doesn’t desert; He won’t desert.

He gives us hope, power, energy to live and love in these times too, with everything that’s going on around us now.

No matter what happens, we lift each other up, with the strength he has given us and, holding on to each other, stagger into new life. Sometimes we dance.

We can do it even now, because He is here even now. Life and Love and God is here even now. Even if we desert Him now and then, He doesn’t desert us at all.