St. Paul’s On-the-Hill Episcopal Church

The Rev. Stephen C. Holton, Rector

Easter Day; April 12, 2009

John 20:1-18

REDISCOVERING LOVE

Happy Easter. Happy Joy. Happy Life, Love and Hope. God is present in the world and in our lives no matter what the world dishes out and no matter where our lives lead.

It did not always seem so, though. It did not seem so for Mary who only met Jesus again after she had gone to His grave in sorrow, in mourning, in weeping; with lost hope and lost love. But it was there that she found Him again.

Like Mary, we meet Jesus at our graves. We all know our graves. They are scattered through our lives like so many monuments to destruction and dreams unfulfilled.

There’s a lost job over there, a dream never filled or a job never found over there. A loved one who has died lies in one direction; and one who remains sick for a long time, lies in another direction. There is stuff we’ve never done and should have, stuff we have done and shouldn’t have.

Monuments to all these events or non-events lie all over our lives back through the years and we know just where to find them. We know just how to scroll back through them in the filing systems in our brains.

Most times though, we prefer not to go back through those files. Most times it is too painful to revisit those memories of things done or not done. So we don’t. We prefer to keep our noses pointed forward and not to be dragged back to those difficult times.

Mary was not so lucky. Mary was not so determined. Mary was not so strong as we would like to think we are. She could not dust herself off and get started on life again, after Jesus had died. She did not go back to fishing, like some of the disciples. She did not gather with the others in the upper room and plan the future.

She had no future, at that point; just the past, the dead past, though the body of the past, the body of Jesus might still need some anointing, some mourning, some grief; a final goodbye before going on to the future.

So she went back to the past one last time, back to her monument of grief, the tomb of Jesus, the tomb of all her hopes and dreams.

So often we try to avoid that. We try to move on, shake off our disappointments or accept them and move on in a crueler world than the one we had hoped for.

Let’s not. Just for this once let’s join Mary in her distress and despair, going to the cold, dark tomb of our hopes and dreams.

Like her we get there early, because we could not sleep for fretting and worrying about our lives without God, without Hope, without Love.

Like her we do not believe that there’s new life and new hope, even though we’ve been told there is 100 times. Jesus had told her about new life and the kingdom of God for years before His death. She sees the tomb is empty, but instead of rejoicing in His resurrection she runs and tells Peter: “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid Him.”

Peter and the other disciple run toward the tomb, presumably accompanied by Mary.

Peter and John – the unknown disciple – look in the tomb or go in. John “saw and believed.” Mary didn’t yet.

They go home full of hope. Mary doesn’t.

Mary weeps, then she sees two angels. She still doesn’t believe. She must take a lot of convincing. She says a second time, “they have taken away my Lord and I do not know where they have laid Him.”

She turns and sees Jesus, whom she thinks is the gardener.

She still doesn’t’ believe.

She says, almost repeating herself a third time; “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid Him.”

She still doesn’t believe! She still doesn’t see! She has such a hard shell of unbelief, of despair, of inability to absorb all that Jesus told her over the years – that she rivals our unbelief, our despair, our inability to absorb all that we have heard of Him over the years.

Jesus keeps after her, as He keeps after us.

“Mary.” “Steve.” Whatever your name is.

She believes. We believe; thanks to Jesus’ persistence, even beyond death.

We go to our graves. We meet Him at our graves – all our many graves – and there we find Him, who has come to meet us and hasn’t given up on us even if we have given up on meeting Him, even if we deny Him 3 times like Peter or can’t accept Him 3 times like Mary.

There He lies, there we lie, beaten down by the economy, defeated by the war drums, forsaken by those we love. Still He comes. Still He rises.

God cannot die. Hope cannot die. Love cannot die. Life lives. He lives.

He lives in those monuments of death and destruction; so, if you haven’t met Him, meet Him there. Seek Him there. Scroll back through those memories you avoid; but instead of looking for death and expecting emptiness, look for life and expect hope. And if those tombs of your dreams are empty, perhaps that is because the dream has been raised and you will find it living in new life somewhere else in some form you had not expected or imagined or hoped for.

Like Mary, we are raised to think that death always has the last word. Like Mary we are raised to think that the mighty state and the religions of the day control our lives; who lives, who dies, who prospers, who fails. Like her we think that at some point our dreams will always be crushed if they are too unrealistic, if they are about peace and love and hope, if they are different from what the economy wants or the market wants or what everyone else is doing.

Like her therefore, we should occasionally find the courage to go into the heart of the darkness of lost hopes and dreams.

Like her we might wander a while in unbelief, but Jesus seeks us out. He seeks us out in the form of ordinary human beings like the gardener. Ask your question of hope and hopelessness to that ordinary human being. He might have an answer that surprises you.

Like Mary, do not follow someone else’s belief, like Peter’s or John’s. It’s just not enough for us. It won’t help our hopes and dreams. It will just leave us out.

Jesus doesn’t leave us out. Mary doesn’t recognize Him at first. Neither do we.

He keeps after her. He keeps after us. “Mary.” “Steve.” “You” he says when He names our hearts, when we come with our hearts full of pain or uncertainty, or at least honesty and questions.

“Mary.” Then we get to know Him again through normal human relationships as with a gardener, a gardener.

He was a human of course; Jesus was a human. God was a human, in Jesus. That’s why everyone doubted Him for so long. In spite of some miracles He was just a human. He didn’t call down angels from the cross. He died, just like us. He shared that incredibly human experience of death, and birth at the other end, and life in between.

The very human Jesus rose from the dead and was seen and believed in by someone who was not disposed to see and believe in Him, and missed the boat on it 3 times.

How many times have you missed the boat on seeing Him? Never mind. He comes again, and again, and again, and is still here; for He is risen.

No amount of terrible economy, or market forces, or dreadful politics can keep Him out of our lives or out of the world’s life. He has come right into it, right into the heart of the world’s darkness, and lived and died – and rose again at a tomb like all the other ones dotted all over the world since time began.

He was seen and loved by a lonely woman half mad with grief at His death, who was not disposed to think that anyone could survive the condemnation of empire and religion.

He can be seen and loved by us no matter the state we’re in, whatever the world has done to us. Ultimately the world does not have the last word. God does. God comes to all people. God came in Jesus into a little stable, like this former stable. He lived, He taught, He died, He rose again, He stayed.

Mary was the first disciple He came to, but not the last. He comes to us at those gravesites we avoid, putting us back together again, healing our grief and sorrow and disappointment, going with us back into the daily domesticities of life where we can make a difference in that world that does not care about us. God cares about it. With us, He – and we together – can make a difference and bring His Life and Love and Hope to others still.